This book is one of my all-time favourites. This is a story of a man who changed his entire life in just over a year and half. From virtually unknown to superstar. The fundamental sequence involved finding the right mentors, soaking up their knowledge, reading books and then vehemently applying the lessons to real scenarios. If you think I am going to talk about the best pick-up lines, then you would be mistaken. That is why I like this book so much: it is a misogynistic depiction of man’s lust for women yet it is a story of transformation, meaning and enlightenment.
“A pick-up artist must be the exception to the rule. You must not do what everyone else does. Ever.”
When you want to be exceptional, you need to innovate. You must have something different and better than the rest. If you think that copying a successful person is the route to victory, then your reasoning is flawed. Why? It is easy to spot a fake.
When you are presented with new knowledge, there is a process involved in assimilating that new information. That process must involve merging your current value system with the new data, in order to seamlessly integrate new habits, perspectives and outcomes into your life. For example, you may decide that you would like to stop drinking alcohol because it’s damaging to your physical and mental health as well as your finances. Now, if your value system says “I can’t enjoy myself on a night out without alcohol,” do you really expect to stop drinking? Of course not!
Just to clarify, it is excellent if you learn from those who are more skilled than you and take note of new ideas and practises, but try to add a bit of your own sauce to the recipe. This will make you stand out and it will ease the integration process of better principles.
Beauty is common but what’s rare is great energy and outlook on life
When you decide to engage intimately with someone, what is your thought process? We tend to get caught up in the ephemeral and obvious. In choosing a partner, for example, you may be attracted to their appearance but will that last? When you are thinking long term, it’s the deeper psychological aspects that matter more. This is not to say that you shouldn’t choose a physically attractive companion. That would make me a hypocrite. Just don’t jump in head first when you are unsure about how deep the pool is.
“If you look average, you’re going to get average”
Don’t expect anything more. You get out what you put in and that’s not just a reference to time. If you go to an interview wearing an oversized blazer, bootcut trousers and worn out shoes, you are already putting yourself at a disadvantage. If instead you put effort into your appearance, you immediately eliminate unconscious negative biases. This is not about hereditary looks. It’s about the choices you make over things you can control like your haircut, makeup and clothing to name a few.
“Think of tonight as a video game. It is not real. Every time you do an approach, you are playing this game”
This is useful to remember when you are preparing for a high pressure scenario. Let us say that you have an exam in a week. It would be great to do some exam practice but anxiety seems to have got the best of you. Remind yourself that it is not the real thing. Let go of all expectations. Set a time limit and say “For the next 50 minutes I will practise exam questions.” Even if you answer the question terribly, you have made essential progress.
“What I do is, I look for IOIs. An IOI is an Indicator of Interest. If she asks you what your name is, that’s an IOI.”
Even if somebody asks for something as simple as your name, treat it as a genuine sign of interest. Why? Your behaviour will change. Instead of acting awkward or rude, you will answer in a polite and emphatic way, hopefully with a smile on your face. Remember nobody has an obligation to be nice to you. Ensure that people are glad that they even bothered to ask you in the first place.
Nothing in the Game is an accident.
Take responsibility for your life. If you have financial problems, it’s not the government’s fault, it is yours. If you are overweight then it is not Tesco’s fault, it is yours. If we take the first case and we suppose that it is the government’s fault. What are you going to do? Are you going to DM Theresa May and tell her “Safe g, can you lend me £400, my rent is overdue?”? I hope not, however, if we claim liability for our financial turmoil, then we can actively pursue measures to alleviate the problem. You could look at your bank statement, and find out you are paying for subscriptions that you no longer use or you can find additional ways to generate income. Bring the power to you rather than bestowing the control to an entity that cares very little about your debt or your obesity.
When we realise that everybody else also thinks they’re inadequate, then that ache goes away and the idea that we’re not a person of value disappears to some extent.
(Neil Strauss) “And what about those people who don’t get rid of their sense of inadequacy?”
They becomes obsessed with sleeping with more and more women. And that’s a problem.
Eric Weber, The First Modern PUA
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